Clonewalski's Tips For Horror Movie Survival

**Fairy_Mochi** Wed Nov 07, 2012 12:49 am

(I came up with this while watching Friday the 13th movies.)

Clonewalski’s Tips For Horror Movie Survival

I’ve watched many horror movies in the time since I came into existence. And played games that horror movies were based off of. So I think it safe to say that I’m knowledgeable enough in the genre to give some tips on how to survive a horror movie situation if you should ever find yourself in one.

1: Don’t scream. That’s how the killer finds you.

2: Don’t fornicate. The fornicating couples always get killed. Plus, you really shouldn’t being doing that till after you’re married.

3: Weapons. Get some.

4: That thing about safety in numbers? It’s true.

5: Don’t punch a zombie. It doesn’t work. Unless you’re able to punch a hole in it’s skull. Then do so. It’ll save ammunition and look really cool; though it will be messy.

6: Don’t be a bully/jerk. Bullies/jerks always get killed, and no one really mourns their deaths.

7: Fire is your friend….

8: ….as are explosives.

9: If you’re a teenager and reading this, then I’m sorry. I’ll pray for your sad, sad soul. Teenagers die like flies.

10: If the monster that is after you is someone like Freddy Krueger or Jason, uh, you’re on your own. You’ll just have to improvise with characters like those.

Good luck! Here’s hoping that you live to see another day!

**2nd Lt. NYC** Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:42 am

Whoops. Because I'm a teenager. I'm going to die like a fly! XD Just kidding. But really. Nice survival tips. I'm going to stock up on weapons and explosives anyway.